Monday, 10 October 2011

Rules to Live by...

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©Don’t Slouch ©Don’t feel guilty ©Don’t befriend your gynaecologist
©Do befriend your car mechanic ©Find a job you absolutely love ©Never plan to retire
©Stop waiting ©Keep moving ©Don‘t do aerobics in a G-string ©Laugh when you fail
©Laugh when you succeed ©Laugh when your boyfriend breaks up with you
©Don’t laugh when you’re eating carrot ©Always eat your greens ©Avoid beige food
©Feng shui your brain ©Feng shui your friends
©Every morning take a moment to pretend you’re Maria from The Sound of Music
©Show off when you’re by yourself ©Take up ballet…when you’re seventy-five
©Tell the truth, because lying is exhausting ©Floss like a demon ©Take gas at the dentist
©Start the Gas in the waiting room ©Smile at strangers (it unnerves them)
©Don’t look inwardly ©Give outwardly instead ©Skip…while wearing no undies
©Act like a bubble…float, bring joy…pop
©Never have sex on the first date...unless he’s good looking…but boring
©Never do anything that makes you feel bad, just to make a man feel good
©Actually…never do anything that makes you feel bad
©Know that the only thing worth suffering for are shoes ©Let your friends love you.
©If your friends don’t love you then find new ones
©Understand that no one will ever love you as much as you want them to
©Don’t be desperate for a bloke ©Have a million affairs of the Heart
©Be your own love of your life.
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